Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator Review
I chose the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator for two reasons. Firstly, it is the cutest damn vibrator I ever did lay my eyes on. Secondly, it is the most discreet vibrator I ever did see. I genuinely believe no one but a total sex nerd would look at this with its lid on and think ‘they use that on their clit’. Hell, I’m as sex nerdy as they get and I would 100% think this was an uber fancy pen. So yes, I chose this vibe because it’s the sort of sex toy that can fall out of my bag on the bus without me turning a very crimson shade of beetroot.
Packaging
As soon as I saw this packaging it became clear Maia is into pretty aesthetics. This box is of high quality and is simplistically stylish. Unlike its loud and proud, but equally stylish, contents. As well as a dazzling lipstick vibe, the Maia Roxie box also contains a charging cable, black storage pouch and basic instruction booklet.
I basically came when I saw the storage pouch.
Design
There are some people who might see this bright pink, metallic geometric vibe as somewhat tacky. Well, I say, ‘gimme the tack!’ I absolutely adore its pretty plastic exterior, with its fake diamond button and fluorescent lipstick vibe inside. What is not to love about that?
The lipstick style vibrators are a popular design for much more than their cute and discreet aesthetic though. The neon-pink silicone vibrating lippy has an end that snuggles perfectly against the clitoris. With a slant to its tip, it can also be used in multiple different ways, suiting the stimulation preferences of more people. Or those who just like to mix things up a bit.
The silicone is soft, silky and rigid. It’s not going to cause much discomfort when used during the throes of couples passion. Even if unrhythmically jabbed against your bits. Which, let’s face it, happens a lot.
Overall the quality is a bit, kind of, okay. It doesn’t look like it’s about to fall apart mid-wank, but it does look like the manufacturers were on a budget. I guess the Maia Roxie is cheaper to buy because of it though? So, silver lining and all that. This four inch buzzer also boasts rechargeability and shower-sesh friendliness. And I’m all for those waterproof wanks.
Functions
With ten different functions, this pretty lippy has just the right amount of variability. Maia has packed their Roxie’s motor with three increasing speeds and seven playful patterns. Whether I want to tease my clit or get straight down to the finale, this vibes functions have me covered. And all at the click of one clear gem button on its base.
Vibrations
This has got to be THE buzziest vibrator my clitoris has ever had the misfortune of meeting. I’m a rumble girl, through and through. This buzzes away on the very surface level of my sexy nerves, leaving so many horny nerve-endings left out. Whilst there are certainly people who prefer a buzzyesque style vibrator, I personally find them more than a little shit. The more powerful I make it, the more likely it is my clitoris will be numbed to the point of orgasm inability.
Is this what Maia thinks we’re going for here?
It’s not Maia, it’s really not.
Along with the reasonably powerful buzzes, you get a reasonably loud Bzzzzzzzzz. Yep, it’s going to take a shut door and a bit of the Biebster to drown this irritatingly-buzzy vibe out.
Play Time
Sex toy reviewing certainly sounds like an awesome gig, but when you’re horny as hell and have to waste a wank on something like this, it really makes you question your life’s choices. I have a multitude of effective and pleasurable vibrators, and there I was pressing something against my clit that I was 99% sure would have the same effect as an ice cube – irritating and numbing.
Aaaaand, I wasn’t wrong.
The Maia Roxie is my masturbation worst nightmare. I couldn’t get an orgasm out of this thing if Tom Hardy was stood in front of me naked. Kissing Brad Pitt. Covered in baby oil. Holding a whip.
And I practically just orgasmed thinking about that.
Conclusion
I fully understand that there are people who enjoy a bit of a buzzer. But this just has such high-frequency surface level vibrations that I can’t imagine a clit that could stand it. Even my hand finds five seconds of this too irritating and that is nowhere close to being as sensitive as a clitoris. PeepShow Toys has some seriously amazing sex toys. The Maia Roxie is not one of them.
Hella cute though.
You can find the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator here for $30
Want to check out my favourite clitoral vibe?
Huge thanks to PeepShow Toys for sending me the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator in exchange for an honest review! Affiliate links are used in this post.
Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator
£30
Pros
- Body Safe Materials
- Cute Design
Cons
- Mediocre Power
- Buzzy Vibrations
- Not Great Quality